Updated: Oct 25, 2020
Here's a quick taste of what Passion Conference is all about:
I walked into Passion Conference 2020 as one of 3,000 "door holders" for a 65,000 person sold out conference about Jesus at Mercedes Benz Stadium.
I was there to serve and help the conference run smoothly.
But the true motivator for me signing up to serve was because I wanted to attend the conference.
Even though I’m technically over 25 years old and this conference was directed at college aged students, I didn’t want to miss the line-up of speakers and musicians. #timtebow #sadieroberston #levilusko #shelleygiglio #thelistgoeson
I wanted to soak in the wisdom and the worship of such a powerful event!
We were all there to ring in a new year and a new decade. The roaring 20's!
The last few years of my life have been cluttered with selfishness, fear and brokenness that’s gripped me. Just when I would think I was growing, they would sneak back up in unsuspecting ways.
Our sin nature and imperfections are part of the human experience.
Learning to give myself grace and acceptance for my uniqueness became a focus of mine in 2019.
I’ve struggled with comparison, insecurity and just feeling like I’m not enough. Like there's so much I want to do and not enough time to do it. Like there's a picture in my head of the life I want and it's just out of reach.
This year at Passion Conference, I was immersed for 3 days in worship and the word of God.
After many hours/days on my feet with the hustle and bustle of 65,000 people, there were times I was tired and disengaged.
But I was there.
I get that feeling almost every time I go on a mission trip or immerse myself deeply in a spiritual experience.
I start to wonder why I’m even there and kind of want to go home or quit.
I just want to collapse half way through.
The power of the holy spirit can be so overwhelming when you really start to think about how much he loves us and how much he desires for us to have purpose and go out into the world to make him known.
It feels like a call and a commission that is just too great.
But as the conference was coming to a close, there was this afterglow, this sinking in of everything we'd absorbed: Every bible verse read. Every illustration that hit home. Every song of worship. Every hand of praise in the air. Every roar. Every tear.
It all began to sink into my soul forming a new and fresh revelation of who God is.
How good he is. How faithful he is. And how worthy he is of our praise.
How worthy he is to be our number 1 desire.
And how it’s not up to us to achieve greatness.
It’s up to us to know God well through his word and time spent with him.
What he does with our lives after that is up to Him.
Our Purpose is up to Him to decide and reveal.
It’s our job to answer. To respond. To be available. To seek.
One of the overarching themes at passion was “purpose" and seeking to better understand God’s Will for our lives.
And the simple answer was that our purpose is found IN SEEKING HIM.
"You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13
There’s no question that Jesus loves us.
But, do we love him?
Do we love him enough to know him? And make him known?
Entering the next year and the next decade, the desire of my heart is to burn for his fame and his name, not my own.