As I sip on my second jalapeno margarita, enjoying this perfect evening weather while the kids play in the yard - I’m savoring the minimal “alone” time I have.
I love moments like these.
They allow me to clear my head and get in the present moment.
They provide a much needed Reset from the uncontrollable world around us.
I’ve always been a growth minded person.
Had many goals.
Most of them accomplished.
But the older I get, the more I realize the value of being in the present moment –
rather than some future moment.
Contentment isn’t something that lives in a future moment.
It can only be found in the present.
Sometimes we need a little perspective shift to help us get there.
To snap us back into the present moment.
That's why sharing stories can be so powerful.
Our stories have the power to change moods. Change perspectives.
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I’m not sure any of us were ready for COVID 19.
I certainly wasn’t.
I brushed it off for a while assuming it was media hype that would fade as soon as it began.
But this time…it didn’t fade.
It became more and more persistent taking more and more of a toll on my daily life.
Stories of layoffs, cut backs and businesses closing their doors swarmed my inbox, feed and texts messages.
As an already overloaded business owner, once it finally sank in that this was something I needed to take seriously…uncertainty and fear began to rise up within me.
How can I get more sales for Edge when I’m stuck inside the house?
What if our clients fall off?
How will this affect our bottom line?
How will this impact our team?
How could this impact my livelihood?
As a single mom with two kids, I’m probably the most vulnerable person on our team.
I didn’t want to go any further down that rabbit hole of fearful thinking.
So, I avoided it for a while.
I’m a 2 on the enneagram and we like to appear poised and composed at all times, though that’s rarely the truth. Appearing fine on the outside, I began to feel like an island with no one to talk to about these expanding worries.
I didn’t need a friend. I didn't need a therapist.
I needed advice and expertise from someone who has been in my shoes.
I reached out to a colleague who made quite an impression on me when we met.
I had considered asking her to mentor me.
In my moment of stress, she was a listening ear and gave me tangible feedback that helped me shape our next steps.
When she told me how COVID 19 was affecting her business, it brought me to tears.
She had invested her life savings in her franchise.
And now, it was being shut down in response to COVID 19, beyond her control.
I broke down that day. Very angry with God.
This woman loves you.
Serves you.
Tithes consistently.
Devoted her life and business to a franchise that makes you known.
How could SHE be getting a hit like this?!
You’re supposed to protect your people.
How unfair! Why her?
I began to feel like it didn’t matter at all whether I live according to God’s truths or not.
Bad things still happen to good people.
I went into defense mode and spent a few days in a very, very bad mood.
(I feel sorry for my children who had to put up with me on those days.)
Finally, I broke down and cried out to God asking him WHY this was happening…
The pandemic.
The side effects.
My friend's story.
The very real circumstances so many are facing in their day to day.
I bowed to my knees and opened my hands…
You can have my business.
You can have my income.
You can take it all if you want to.
Still, I will praise you.
I opened my devotional that day and it was perfect for that moment.
It said: “Do not resent God for the way he chooses to deal with you, for he is always working things together in a way that brings the most people to himself.”
Bam.
Those words were the perspective shift I needed.
The truth I needed to hear.
Okay, God. I’m on board.
I accept the new normal.
And I will adjust my perspective from one of fear, resentment and anxiety to one of trust.
The next Sunday, I streamed church online at Passion City Church.
Louie Giglio said something that struck me.
“God is the maker. We are the made. He made the creation. And we are here to be stewards of what he has made. We steward God’s creation and bring glory to God through relationship and entrepreneurship.”
This caused my faith to grow.
I may not understand what he's doing but I do trust him to work all things together for the good of those who love him according to his perfect will.
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I have a friend who is very type A. She gets anxious easily and likes to be in control.
When she gets a massage, she usually begins to relax about the time the massage is over.
That’s how I feel right now.
Everyone’s been so positive and I’m only just now shifting my perspective to try to appreciate the joys in this time.
I’m praying this season passes quickly and we can all get back to normal.
At the same time – a season of radical dependence on God produces this beautiful closeness with God that is such a life giving, transforming time.
Part of me isn’t ready for that season to end yet.
I haven’t even been ABLE to rest yet.
I haven’t even been ABLE to enjoy my kids yet.
_______
In 1665, The University of Cambridge temporarily closed due to bubonic plague. Isaac Newton had to work from home, and he used this time to develop calculus and the theory of gravity.
In the 1800’s, Nathaniel Hawthorne found himself stuck at home in a similar situation and used that time to write the book he had always wanted to write: The Scarlett Letter.
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I know that fear and worry is a negative perspective and it’s a distraction from where God wants our focus.
Whatever the Lord is trying to say to you during this season…
My prayer is that we can all discover a new perspective during this unique time in history.
And that however this new normal changes us…we remember to live changed after this is all over.
